It was the week before Christmas and all through the day, eight lads were restless, all hyped for the long night. Their jumpers were cleaned, their livers all rested, and the rules were set fourth, knowing none could be bested.

All right, relax. The corny intro is over. For those who don’t know, the Twelve Pubs of Christmas is an annual Irish tradition where a group of friends wearing Christmas jumpers (sweaters) go out and plan a pub crawl of 12 to get messy to celebrate the arrival of Christmas. What can I say? I think it’s a brilliant idea.

Now obviously, this isn’t just a normal weekend pub crawl. It’s a rather hefty one for the following reasons…

You’re wearing Christmas Jumpers: Yes, there is nothing like getting into the holiday spirit like getting belligerently drunk wearing a colorful Santa or Rudolph jumper. It’s the one time of year to wear thh2 so yes, do it!
Pub Rules: Simply heading out to drink with your mates is something you do all throughout the year. Not in Dech2ber though; make it a challenge and fear the loaf of shame! (to come later)
You actually have 12 pubs on your agenda: Visiting three or four pubs in a night is a great adventurous night out any other day of the year but 12 is a commitment. Yes, you are required to get one pint of beer (or cider) at each so we’re talking six liters of beer in a single night and a strict 30 minutes in each pub (At least in pub #7 and below). Start early kids.

Yes, start early. You don’t stand a chance otherwise since pubs in Ireland normally close around 1 in the morning. Clubs are normally open until around 3ish.

Five o’clock is the official start time so that leaves you an adequate six hours to complete the journey. I'd advise you do the same. I really hope you don’t plan on drinking six liters of beer in anything less than six hours…

As soon as the clock strikes 5, it's time to begin.

1-2: Home Pints:

The first couple of beers were consumed at home. There were no rules for the first half but as soon as 30 minutes passed we could no longer call each other other by our names.

Pub Rule: No real names. The loaf of shame (literally a packaged loaf of bread) is introduced and passed out to anyone who breaks the current rule. The bread must be carried until the current rule is broken by someone else.

3. Oscar Taylor's

The first real pub of the night was full of people over 50 years old and most were with their families. It was also only 6 o'clock so yes, when eight guys in their early 20s show up in obnoxious Christmas jumpers, it's not exactly the most welcoming sight. Regardless, we kept to ourselves outside and did our best to keep quiet. Pubs have gotten really strict with 12 Pub'ers since, you know, people often start fights deep into the night and end up stealing furniture so it's important to keep it on the down low.

Pub Rule: No pointing at anything or each other. The loaf of shame was obviously flying across the table the whole night.

4. Gibney's

By the time we got to our fourth pub, it was starting to look like a Friday night. Instead of awkwardly busting in to a pub full of families having a quiet one, we busted in to an already busy pub and were lucky to find a table. It was a great place to be but this pint was finished fast.

Pub Rule: No toilets.

5. Fowler's

Instead of busting in confidently and walking to the bar, all eight of us, including Rudolph as well, went straight to the toilets. This pub was the tricky one and once again the loaf of shame was flying across the table and into Rudolph's face for this half hour.

Pub Rule: "Rudolph" must be used in ever sentence. Every. Single.Sentence.

6. Duffy's

We head straight up the stairs to the upstairs bar and patio and by now the loaf of bread has already exchanged hands several times. Lefties, righties, we know who you are. and you will be called out on it and you will get a loaf of bread thrown at you.

Pub Rule: No drinking with your dominant hand. We went straight to the train station once we were finished.

40 minutes pass as we jump on the train to Dublin City Centre....

7. O'Rileys

The previous pubs were all in Malahide which is outside the city centre but now that we were in town, we had to extrh2ely careful and convincing we weren't on a 12 Pubs run because you WILL be thrown out.

I had the loaf of shame at the time so I kept it tucked in my arm as discretely as possible as we convinced the bouncer we were sober enough and not be on a 12 Pubs run. We were let in but just as I'm about to walk through the door the bouncer grabs me and takes the loaf of bread from under my arm.

"Why are you carrying this loaf of bread?"

I can't exactly tell him it's the Loaf of Shame or else we'll be kicked out so I need to to quickly come up with a convincing excuse as to why I'm taking bread into the pub. Quickly Quickly Quickly.....ok here goes... "I'm hungry".

"You're hungry...so you're taking a loaf of bread into the pub with you. Doesn't that sound a bit suspicious?"

"No."

"hmm okay, this is weird so I have to take the bread from you but you can grab it on your way out."

"Yeah sure, fine, take it." You can keep the damn bread.

Pub Rule: No swearing. We did our best but once I made it public that I had the bread taken from me, the filters immediately came off.I didn't actually think we were going to get that bread back but we somehow did as we left.

8. Somewhere five minutes away

Barman at the door says "Hmm.... which pub is this lads?"

"This is only our second"

We ran in, got our pint, and then hurried outside since it was crowded as hell inside. We were supposed to be talking in foreign accents here but at some point in this half hour the bread was thrown into the street and never to be seen again. Good riddance.

9. Somewhere else five minutes away

Whatever this place was, it was absolutely packed. It was so packed most of us got lost at some point but somehow we managed to get a drink and meet outside. Down goes number nine.

10. The George

I'm the last one in the group to get in queue and sure enough I'm the only one that doesn't get in. Maybe the doorman thought I was too drunk, maybe he didn't like my Christmas jumper, maybe he isn't a fan of 12 Pubs, and maybe he just didn't like me. I don't know but I didn't get in and my night ended here.

Drunkenly stumbling into McDonald's and a chipper afterwards with a couple of mates who left as well may not be the best way to get into the Christmas spirit but come on, it's a Friday night around Christmas. It's time to get everyone together.

If you decide to h2bark on a 12 Pubs of Christmas, just be discrete. We were lucky enough we weren't barred entry earlier in the night just because of our Christmas jumpers. When most barmen see the jumpers, they think of pub fights and having their furniture stolen which, yeah, is reasonable. If you can act sober enough or just manage to be incredibly charismatic, and you should be fine. Check out Reddit if you you're looking for ideas for rules.

Don't start fights and don't steal furniture. Just get out there and have a Merry Christmas.